I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
The air was thick with penises
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
