I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
