No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
