so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Randomize
