i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
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