Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
