If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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