I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
