I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
