I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
