you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Randomize