you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Randomize
