after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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