dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
