i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
