That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
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