Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
