Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
