Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Randomize
