What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
