I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
