like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
