your room smells of hookers.
And success
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
