She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
vagina is talking i cant
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
