i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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