well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
