The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
that may or may not have been my penis.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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