Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
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