fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
