when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
