god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
