I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
