The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
