So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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