Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
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