Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
