When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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