9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
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