I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize