I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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