You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
