They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
