Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
