in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
This house was built for laser tag.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
