I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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