Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
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