so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Randomize
