mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
