end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
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