No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
