So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
