i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
where are you?
Hypothermia
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize