$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
