Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
