Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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