Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
you had me at cake vodka
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
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