OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Randomize
