She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
