so that wasnt chicken after all
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
