Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
