I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
