Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
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