bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
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