i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
im holly from the hills drunk
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
