these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
