There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
