Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
