Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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