I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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