Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
