But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I'm at about main and main street
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
