and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Randomize
