How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize