Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
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